Relationship: 9 types of people you need to distance yourself from if you want to move forward in life

By Isabella Chase

I’ve been writing about culture, psychology, and self-improvement for years, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a natural introvert living in the hustle and bustle of New York City, it’s that the company you keep has a massive impact on your personal growth.

You’ve probably heard Jim Rohn’s famous quote: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s a bit cliché, sure, but I find there’s real wisdom behind it.

Below are nine types of people I believe you should distance yourself from if you want to keep moving forward in life. I’ve encountered each one in some form or another, and trust me, it’s better to step away than to let them hold you back.

1. The Chronic Complainers

Nothing is ever good enough for these folks. If the sun’s out, it’s too hot; if it’s cloudy, the day’s too dreary. Complainers rarely look for solutions— they’d rather dwell on the problem. Now, I’m not saying we should ignore genuine struggles, but there’s a difference between venting occasionally and constantly broadcasting negativity.

Surrounding yourself with an endless stream of complaints can make you feel weighed down. According to the concept of emotional contagion in psychology, moods are contagious; being around negative people can dampen your energy and outlook on life.

2. The Energy Vampires

Energy vampires feed off your positivity and drain your emotional resources. They might not always be obvious about it— sometimes it’s just the constant need for your attention, sympathy, or support. By the end of your interaction, you’re left feeling exhausted.

Back when I first started writing in New York, I had a friend who’d constantly call me to unload her problems without ever asking how I was doing. Eventually, I realized I was dreading her calls. That was my cue to pull back. Protect your peace.

3. The Perpetual Critics

Constructive criticism? Bring it on— I love improving my craft. But there’s a line between helpful feedback and relentless fault-finding. Perpetual critics will pick apart your dreams and scoff at your accomplishments, often projecting their own insecurities onto you.

These critics often have no vision for themselves, so they’ll try to poke holes in yours.

4. The “Play-It-Safe” Crowd

These are the people who never want to leave their comfort zone. They’re not necessarily harmful—some are content living risk-free lives. But if you’re someone with big goals or a creative vision, constantly surrounding yourself with those who never push boundaries can stifle your ambition.

Ambition is like a spark: it can catch fire when fanned, or fizzle out if suffocated. If you’re around people who say, “That’s too risky,” or “Maybe next time,” you might start believing it’s true.

5. The Gossipmongers

Everyone loves a juicy story now and then, but there’s a fine line between sharing life updates and indulging in harmful gossip. Gossipmongers thrive on rumors, speculation, and putting others down— sometimes just for the thrill of it.

Constant involvement in gossip can breed paranoia (“Are they talking about me next?”) and negativity.

If you can’t steer the conversation to a healthier topic, quietly excuse yourself or set boundaries.

6. The Dream Dismissers

“You want to start a business? That’s too hard.” “You’re planning to publish a novel? Good luck with that— it’s nearly impossible.”

Dream dismissers aren’t always malicious; sometimes they’re just limited by their own fears. But if you listen to them too much, you’ll start doubting your capabilities.

When I told certain acquaintances I wanted to become a full-time writer, they’d say, “Writers don’t make any money,” or, “That’s just a hobby, right?” It took me years to trust my instincts and shut out that noise.

7. The Enablers of Bad Habits

Maybe you’re trying to work out more, cut back on unhealthy food, or focus on your side project. But there are people who’ll always encourage you to do the opposite— to slack off, break your plans, or ignore your goals.

This can be linked to peer pressure. When you’re around people who consistently engage in behaviors you’re trying to avoid, your willpower takes a hit. Sometimes you need a break from these influences if you want to truly change.

8. The “Always in Crisis” Crowd

There’s a difference between someone who’s genuinely going through a rough patch and someone who lives in a perpetual state of drama.

You know the type: every day there’s a new emergency, and it’s always bigger and more urgent than anyone else’s problems.

As Henry Ward Beecher once said, “Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.”

But for the drama-prone, troubles are more like a lifestyle choice— and they’ll drag you along for the ride if you’re not careful.

9. The Boundary-Breakers

Last but certainly not least: the people who don’t respect your limits. Maybe they show up unannounced, demand your time when you’ve clearly said you’re busy, or guilt-trip you when you don’t meet their expectations.

Healthy boundaries are a cornerstone of mental well-being. If someone doesn’t respect yours, they’ll eventually wear you out.

As an introvert, boundaries are my saving grace. Alone time fuels my creativity, and anyone who repeatedly barges into it shows me they’re not respecting who I am.

Parting Thoughts

Distancing yourself doesn’t mean you have to slam doors or burn bridges. It’s often enough to set firm boundaries or limit the amount of time you spend with these people. “Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher,” Oprah Winfrey once said— a statement that perfectly sums up the importance of our social circles.

Life is too short to let negative or draining influences hold you back. By recognizing these nine types of people and knowing when to keep a healthy distance, you’ll free up mental and emotional space to focus on what truly matters: becoming the best version of yourself.

Remember, you deserve to be around individuals who nurture your growth, not stifle it. So, here’s to letting go of what (and who) no longer serves you, and stepping forward into a more fulfilling, empowered life.